a man and a looooong time

Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster!

Paddy missed the tube and Mick came on the bus!

big mistake!
DOH! I made a big mistake today, Jen wanted to go to the local shops to get some more comfortable work shoes so we headed off to the local retail park that has a big tescos on site too we headed into tescos first to get some essentials and it was already packed at ten to nine in the morning! of course it is the weekend before half term finishes and on top of that we have halloween and bonfire night this week too so it was not a good idea to go anywhere near a set of shops thankfully we got there early and was out of there before it got too hectic but believe me it was more than hectic enough for me. At least it saved me having to go on monday now. I hate grocery shopping but we had a list and stuck to it so it was fairly painless I guess. all the same we was glad to get out of there. We then headed over to the rest of the shops Jen wanted some comfy work shoes so we headed off to brantanamos I know that they are only a cheap shop but there stuff is ok and Jen said that the shoes that she got from evans are a little too big. its her own fault for having such big feet hehe she always says that she is living in a country of tiny footed people we nipped into matalan to get some bed socks to keep Jens tootsies warm at night and she grabbed a white top as they havent got a uniform for her at work yet so they asked her to wear a "nice" white top. thankfully thats all we had to get so we jumped in the car and got out of stratford before it got too busy we was back home before 10 so thats pretty good for us as we normally get carried away with our mooching, but with the crowds rapidly building today wasnt the day to mooch.
This afternoon was great though we got Belle a little witches outfit and she looked lovely in it so at 4.30ish we headed over to my aunts to do a bit of trick or treating she had brought some little sweeties especially for Belle so she had those then we all jumped in the car and headed down the road to see one of my aunts friends who said that he wanted to see little belle all dressed up and she got some packets of buttons from him she made out like a bandit but she did look cute in her little outfit I took some piccys but I will have to see if I can remember how to post them hehe.
I have been up and down all night to trick or treaters we went out and brought lots of bags of choccys ready for the masses but it came to 6 oclock and we hadn’t heard anything I thought we might be stuck chomping into them ourselves but at ten past 6 there was a knock on the door and then every few minutes until 10 to 8 we was almost down to our last bar of choccy when we turned off the porch light, put the pumpkin away and put belle to bed to chill out infront of the TV, it was an excellent night though and the kids were fantastic all ages and all sorts of costumes from home made make up costumes to totally amazing costumes worthy of the latest Oscar nominations!. what a day.
We are all off car booting tomorrow as there is a fairly local one which is pretty big so we are off to see if we can find some bargains hope you have a wonderful day
Enjoy

1. Are you superstitious? you bet your sweet bippy I am thats why I dont go out on friday the 13th

2. Are you attending or hosting a halloween party this year? Nope just heading out trick or treating with Belle to my aunts and her friends houses

3. What's your favourite scary movie? - quite simply scary movie

4. Trick or Treat? a treat always

5. The best Halloween costume is...? my mate dressed up as shaft while at work I thought he looked excellent

a few questions for you to ponder -

1 - if you could dress up as anyone or anything for halloween what would it be and why?

2 - whats the best fancy dress you have ever seen,

3 - Whats the worst fancy dress you have ever seen

4 - Are you going trick or treating this weekend?

5 - Do you have some candy in for the ghouls and ghosties that come knocking on your door?

My answers -

1 - elvis in his older years as I think I have the right size body and I could eat some burgers

2 - my mate dressed up as shaft at work and he was amazing with an afro wig and everything very convincing even with a pretend spliff

3 - another mate of mine went as a prostitute to a fancy dress party and someone thought he was my date! makes me shudder to even think about it!! BLERGH

4 - Yep going out with belle who has a wonderful little witches costume but we are only going round to my aunts and to one of her friends

5 - two big bags of sweeties from costco last week

HAPPY HALLOWEEN to you all and dont get too scared out there

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home
reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated
with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a
penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and
cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for
a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I
remember the guy you're talking about."

Well whack my wobblies with a welly if it isnt the end of a fine week, yes, my friends the weekend is here the week has cast away its working shackles and you are free to enjoy two days of freedom woo hooo lets just hope that the weather bucks up its ideas a little and gives us some glimpse of the ever illusive star they call the sun
Its been a busy old day all in all we got up and the crack of silly this morning and got ready to head off into the hurly burly of rush hour traffic to go to warwick it is a lovely place to go mooching in with some very diverse shops we didnt really buy anything but it is always nice just to go and peruse what delicasies they have to try and lure my wallet out of my pocket we had a hour or so looking around before heading back to the car park that is situated by a big park so we had a little walk around or rather Jen and I sat on a bench and let Belle run around with a couple of little twigs screaming like she has never been in a park before it was lovely though and we reluctantly decided to come home after a while as it was getting a little chilly and Belle had broken one of her twigs that she kept bringing to us and saying boo boo so we headed back for a spot of dinner before Jen went to the post office in search of some post cards, she managed to find some in the stationary shop she brought 5 packs of 25 postcards dont ask me what for she just said she was after some for ages and couldnt find any still at least if there is a urgent need for some then we can rest assured we are now fully stocked I had to nip to the docs to get a checkup and then I came back to make a pizza for tea after munching on that for a bit we let belle watch the night garden before it was time to get her tucked up in bed. I dont think it will be long before I get tucked up in bed myself today I am really tired I think it is because I had a little bit of a lie in this morning until 7 oclock heres hoping that I can have another lie in tomorrow
Hope you all have a good weekend and a great halloween
Enjoy

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat
on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to
be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the
gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir anything
you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.

After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting on"

At last Jen is freeee
Yes it’s been a long week all in all without Jen but today was her final day of training and that means she starts her job properly on Monday. She is over the moon as she has been bored ridged the last few days reading policies and watching videos on fire safety or manual handling, hmmm I’m not sure manual handling could be that bad or am I thinking about another movie
Anyhow she came out tonight and let me know that her hours are gonna be Monday, Tuesday and wednesday 8 - 4 which is more hours than she wanted to do as she only wanted to do 20 hours but she said she didn’t mind doing 24 just to see how things go. She really likes it there now and can’t wait to get into the routine of the three day weeks. Its gonna be a bit of a shocker for her as she doesn’t like getting up early but she won’t mind too much once she is used to it and the best thing is that she has 4 days off out of 7 which she likes the idea of. In a way I am kinda jealous wishing I could get a job too but my health is up the swanny and with having to retake my driving test I don’t even know if I will have a license for much longer so I am rapidly becoming unemployable oh well at least belle would employ me if only to get her smarties and occasionally refill her cup or wipe her butt
I haven’t done much today really just worn out after all the cleaning yesterday so I just managed a couple of loads of laundry and a little tidying round after a manic 2 and a bit year old I will give it conceted effort to finish off the rest of the cleaning a go over the weekend as we don’t have much planned apart from a trip to a car boot and some xmas wrapping.
We are all off to Warwick tomorrow for a little mooch around the shops and just go for a little walk to stretch the old legs Just hope that the weather is gonna be better than it was today I honestly don’t think that dawn broke all day it was more overcast than my mood of late But the weekend begins tomorrow so thats gotta be a good thing doesn’t it. Hope you have a marvellous Friday
Enjoy

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the
beach?"

A man walks into a bar, late one night completely knackered and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies.
"What's wrong with you?" The barman says.
"In my car I've got a nymphomaniac - you couldn't satisfy her if you were there 'til Christmas," he replies.
"We'll see about that," says the barman and goes out to the car park.
He has been in the car with the woman for a while when there is a knock on the window and a policeman shines his torch in. The barman jumps up and winds down the window to talk to the policeman.
"It's all right officer, I'm just shagging the wife," he says.
"Oh, I'm sorry sir, I didn't know it was your wife" replies the cop.
The barman replies -"Neither did I 'til you shone your torch!"

Well ok not really but I was veryyyyyy close to it today you see I havent stopped all day I got up at silly oclock this morning to get the tea on the go and make Jen a sarnie to take to work and then I prised Jen out of bed with the lure of a cuppa and woke belle up and dressed then we went and had some brekkie before heading off to Jens work. I dropped her off and headed home where my aunt was waiting with my cousin to go to the market so I headed off round there to get a few essentials and some treats with which I could bribe Belle suitably laden down with all sorts of stuff I headed back home to clean and when I say clean boooooy do I mean clean! I have moved out the sofas the chairs the rugs brushed them all down swept the floor into a big pile just before I picked up the dustpan Belle came over and threw the pile all over the floor again! How I stopped from screaming I don’t know, however she lives to see another day . I swept it all up again and put it all the furniture back then I started in the hall sweeping up all the crud that we drag in on a seemingly daily basis on our feet then I started in the dining room sweeping and wiping etc etc then it was off up stairs to tidy up belles toy boxes before coming back down to pop some washing on and make the potatoes ready for tonights scrummy dinner of bangers and mash with baked beans (drooooooool) the first lot of washing finished and I was ready to pop that in the spin dryer just in time for me to get belle ready to pop in the car and head off to pick Jen up. Then it was back to make the dinner before washing up and wiping while Jen kept belle occupied with the night garden on TV. finally it was belles bath night so I ran that and got it ready for her and got a sleepsuit and new nappy ready for when she gets out and then headed downstairs to heat up her bunny(not a real one, its a hot waterbottle thingy) while Belle and mommy were splashing around in the bathroom.
I tell ya it was a heck of a day all in all but at least the cleaning downstairs has been done now I will tackle upstairs tomorrow but only after I have wrapped up some xmas pressies. Tonight has been nice though doing not bobs quick quiz god how I have missed that and it was nice to have Jens help with it too she has a wide range of musical tastes  At least I am sitting here chilling out now thank god treating myself to some home made mince pies which I spotted at the market I hope you have had a slightly calmer day than me mind you on the bright side at least I will sleep tonight
Enjoy

Well today was a pretty busy day all in all I got up this morning and got Jen a nice cuppa to get her ready for her day at work along with making her a sandwich and a snack to take to work and some drinks too I then got belle up out of bed and ready for the day while Jen was having some toast. We all piled into the car and belle munched into a crossant while we took Jen to work and then I zipped back home as one of my mates was coming over to sort out an outside tap for my aunt. he texted me to say he wouldnt be there until 11 as he had to go and have a tetnus jab due to him standing on a carpet grip when he was at his sisters (OUCH!!) so I texted him back and said it wont be a problem I waited and waited whilst watching noddy and wabuloo with belle I thought I saw my mates car go down the road but I didnt think anything more of it until I suddenly had a call from my aunt to say that tony was there doing the tap already I thought he was going to come round to mine first no problems though I popped belles coat on.... well I popped it on her to be honest it wouldnt fit me its waaaaay beyond snug anyhow we went over to my aunts and I had a chat with tony(my mate) it didnt take him long to sort it all out and he was on his way but not before belle had escaped into my aunts back garden and then ran over her garden and back into the house leaving a little trail of muddy footprints in her wake!!!I picked her up and carried her out the front to see my mate off then had a quick chat to my aunt before getting back home to make lunch, a nice ham buttie with lots of mustard and some cheese puffs ok its not exactly cordon bleu but I aint exactly delia smith either after that I continued to clean around as best i can without having to move everything out of the way and doing a proper job which I have promised myself I will do tomorrow , god I know how to treat myself dont I? anyhow after that It was time to jump back in the car and go and pick up Jen its not soo bad on the way out there but by the time jen gets out its normally just gone 5 and its pitch black and its all country roads back home its not for the faint hearted I can tell ya hehe mind you as I hadnt done any potatoes or anything for tea I decided to stop off on the way back and grab some fish and chips we havent had any in ages and I thought it was time for a treat hmmm not a good impression of my stop at home dad skills though is it oh well I will make a concerted effort to make something edible tomorrow hehe so stomach pumps at the ready folks. after a slap up noshy time we put belle to bed I had along overdue shave and then settled down infront of the TV for an hour or two before getting so tired I am almost nodding off in the chair so dear reader its time for me to bid you a hasty goodnight and wish you a wonderful wednesday.
enjoy

Ray dies and finds himself before the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells him that he cannot enter yet because he cheated on his income taxes. The only way he might get into heaven would be to sleep with a dumb, ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it.
Ray decides that this is a small price to pay for an eternity in heaven. So, off he goes with this woman, pretending to be happy. As he walks along, he sees his friend Marcus up ahead - with an even uglier woman. When he asks what’s going on, Marcus replies “I cheated on my income taxes and scammed the government out of a lot of money.” They both shake their heads in understanding and figure that they might as well hang out together to help pass the time.
Now Marcus, Ray, and their two ugly women are walking along, minding their own business when they see someone who looks like their old friend Russell up ahead. This man is with an absolutely gorgeous woman.
Stunned, Marcus and Ray approach the man and discover it is their friend Russell. They ask him how it is he’s with this unbelievable goddess, while they’re stuck with these god-awful women. Russell replies, “I have no idea, but I’m definitely not complaining. This has been absolutely the best time of my life, and I have five years of the best sex any man could hope to look forward to. There is only one thing that I can’t seem to understand. Every time we finish having sex, she rolls over and murmurs to herself, “Damn income taxes!”

well ok not really a message from half a person but I feel like I have lost my right arm without Jen being around. Well what can I say its been a bit of a strange day all in all last night wasnt a good night for anyone of us as Jen was nervous about her job and I was nervous about her starting and nervous about being without her honestly its been a year since she left her last job to come with me to america etc etc and it means we have been together pretty much none stop apart from the occational split to go to the toilet or when jen managed to escape my clutches for a few minutes I swear I felt sooo bad today not just because she was going to work but because I felt so selfish wanting to keep her home with me. I felt so bad today though like i was missing the complete right side of my body, I missed Jen so much, I am feeling bad alot lately mainly because of the usual neanderthal man thing that it should be me going to work and Jen can stay home with belle etc etc but I just feel so bad that jen has married this person that seems to be falling apart and not much use for anything or anyone I just cannot see what she, likes about me half the time, let alone loves about me!. I just feel like I dont do anything to help Jen or belle half the time. I just feel so useless at times. god there I go again being selfish and talking about me, me and me! anyhow back to the tales of the day.
I got up this morning and made her a cuppa to keep her cosy warm she didnt want any breakfast as the nerves were doing a number on her stomach. so we got ready and headed off we left a little early as we wasnt sure what it would be like on the roads we completely forgot that it was half term so it wasnt too bad but we got there way too early so we parked down a little country lane and just chatted for a bit before going and pulling onto the drive of the care home then we kissed and said our goodbyes and Belle and I headed off to the local tescos to get some essential bits and bobs hmmmm and of course a comic for belle and some more socks I honestly dont know what she does with them all she seems to like running around barefoot all the time and throws her socks here there and everywhere. we came back and unloaded the shopping and belle and I watched night garden and waybuloo before we kicked the ball around outside then had a spot of lunch and belle watched spongebob while I tidied around and prepared some veg for tonights tea. before I knew where I was it was time to go and pick Jen up. She has had a good day though and enjoyed meeting everyone although it was a long day she thought she would only be going for a few hours not 9 to 5 and she hadn’t taken any food with her so she was starving when she got home I made dinner and we put belle to bed before slobbing out infront of david attenorough on TV but I think I am gonna head off to kip now maybe make up for the kip we didn’t have last night. Hope you all had a good day out there in blog land
Enjoy

Had to post this it made me chuckle it makes you wonder how these people have so much time on their hands

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.
"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies
"O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife "No, no boyfriend either."
"Do you have a partner then?"
"No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own."
After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black"
"Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black."
"Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."
"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes."
"Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."
At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims,
"Well thank fuck for that !"
"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.
"Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that the little bastard was going to bark!"

Well here we are at the end of another weekend and what a weekend, yesterday we went to COSTCO the warehouse shop thing it was amazing we got loads and loads of stuff and stocked up all our cupboards as well as getting some choccys in for halloween (honest ) that took most of the morning as it means I have to drive all the way back to solihull and then back into birmingham to get to the warehouse. with our car full to bursting we headed out and up to the island and discovered a retail park which we foolishly thought we would try holy moly it was hell jam packed full of rude people we only ended up going into one or two shops before we got fed up and came back home to unpack the car a simple thing you would think well it would be but we just seem to run out of room for everything its crazy but we have filled the house up already cupboards, drawers and rooms full to the brim god knows where it all went but finally we managed to get it all hidden away all we have to do now is remember where it all is and when it goes by its use by date.
Today I woke up too early again up at 4.30 - 5 and I just couldnt get back to sleep no matter how much I tried so I tossed and turned and ended up waking up Jen we snuggled under the covers until we heard that we werent the only ones up little belle was wide awake too so I got up and popped spongebob on the TV for her before getting ready to go to the local market its wasnt too good but it gets me out of the house for a little while and it isnt too far away to tire me out. when we got back from the market we tucked into a hot dog each and vegged infront of the tv for the rest of the day, watching horton hears and who and well most of it Jen went and cut out the pumpkin we brought so that its all ready for halloween its crazy that we have done it so soon but to be honest Jen decorated our front window two weeks ago with a happy halloween sign on it hehe and cobwebs galore, mind you with our cleaning skills most of the cobwebs were already there I will have to tidy round tomorrow as Jen starts her new Job at 9 in the morning. frankly dear reader I have to let you know I am gonna miss her like crazy and I just dont want her to go really but I know that she gets on ok with other people and is kinda looking forward to getting out of the house and away from me pestering her all the time not to mention the cloud of depression that seems to linger around me. but its just me being selfish and wanting her all to myself
I just hope she will enjoy it and that belle wont miss her too much either
well Im off to kip take care folks and hope monday is a good one for ya

holy moly they will do anything to get you to try their happy meals these days wont they

G'night all

its been a busy one today but I am about to run out of battery life so your gonna have to wait to see what thrills spills and laxative pills I have been upto all day long until tomorrow I warn you its not that exciting really hehe.
take it easy guys and gals and I hope you are having a better weekend than a man in a bath of chocolate cream for two days
Enjoy

Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!

Well waggle my woggle and call me wilbur if it hasnt been a heck of a day today. I just dont seem to have stopped I got up bright and breezy this morning and after a bit of toast and a quick cuppa we headed off to Solihull to get the last little bits of xmas shopping done and get a few bits and bobs so that we dont have to brave the masses when the christmas crush begins. Yes indeed fellow reader I am nearly upto date with my christmas shopping I know you think I am probably more organised than the postmans strike but I am late this year normally I have everything sorted and ready before the end of september but I have everything now just gotta catch up with my wrapping and I am sorted
then after coming back home and tucking into a subway sarnie I went a little mad cleaning the dining room and kitchen sweeping cleaning and wiping every surface Jen finally got me to sit my butt down for about half an hour or so with the temptation of another cuppa and a biccy or two before catching up on blog and then playing with belle hmm well being jumped on and trodden on by belle time seemed to fly by either that or I was laid comatosed by a miss aimed kick from my loving daughter and before I knew it it was 6 in the afternoon time for a spot of lunch and some more tidying up before putting belle to bed ok ok its not a exciting thrill seeker of a day but its been kinda nice and quiet so thats gotta be a good thing. The weekend starts here folks I hope you all have a spectacular weekend

After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to touch her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.
He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the TV.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'That was wonderful. Why did you stop?'

He said, 'I found the remote'.

Blergh here I am back on blog and starting to settle into my life back in the UK and then something else drops on the doormat its a letter from the DVLA asking me to retake my driving test to make sure I can drive boooo thats all I need now for me to lose my drivers licence. I have filled in the form and sent it back and so await a date for me to resit my test a whole 10 years since I passed fingers crossed I pass.
On a brighter note Jen has a job yaaay I think she has had enough of me pestering her over the last year and is kinda looking forward to going and working and meeting other people rather than being stuck with me 24/7 she starts next monday at 9 in the morning and I am gonna go and drop her off at work hehe that means that Belle is gonna be stuck with me poor girl nah but seriously today we headed off to the doctors to get her weighed etc at the baby clinic it did seem strange as belle is 2 and 2 thirds at the moment so she isnt really a baby at all anymore but the people there were really nice and helped us out by giving us some info about the area and even given us some playgroups that she can go to so I will be taking her to those while Jen is at work I could get used to being a stop at home dad cooking and cleaning for my two girls

hope you have had a wonderful day

just wanted to say thank you for all the warm welcomes its wonderful to be back with the warmth and friendship that flows from blog. Thanks Guys and Gals I have really missed you all.

well its time for a titter so here goes

A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"

NO Speak English

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto ......... The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store..

(Please scroll down)

What were you
thinking?

Her husband speaks English!

Nothing changes huh hehehehehe

PRODIGAL SON RETURNS!
hello good evening and welcome back to meeeeee yes indeedy folks this is not a mirage you see before you but it is in fact a long awaited and indeed long overdue blog entry!. What in the name of chicken soup has been going on I hear you all cry in unison welllll where do I begin? I know that you all know I have been in the states and we decided to throw it all in and come back to the good old shores of blighty it was a decision that we agonised over but we knew that we couldn’t make it much longer in the states, not only the shootings that seemed to be on a regular basis but also seemed to be closer and closer to where we were living but also my health was getting a little worse and although the states have great doctors they also come with great big bills to see them, So we decided better the devil (AKA the NHS) you know and so packed up all the stuff or rather two rather handy Neanderthal types who packed up all our stuff into several rather small looking cardboard boxes and stuffed those boxes into the back of their van and we hoped we would see them all soon enough. the next part was us heading onto a plane after a short stay with Jens sister and her beau, which was eerrmm interesting to say the least (this may be explained in a later entry) finally after a week or so we decided to jump a plane and head back. We arrived back in the UK on the 10th June and I have to say it was wonderful to have that feeling of being back in a world that seems so familiar. It was lovely to see dad again too.
That’s where things kinda went downhill. You see my caring sharing brother who as you know I don’t get on with, had arranged to get a carers allowance from the government to look after his own father! but he informed my dad that he wouldn’t come and take care of dad or do anything while I was in the house! Nice huh!. I never intended to stay with my dad so Jen and I set about looking for a place to rent after a little while we found a wonderful place in Henley In Arden however we had no furniture, no bed or anything at all so we started setting about finding bits and bobs and we were lucky to find a second hand shop where we got a table and 6 chairs, a three piece suite, a dresser and a lovely little chair for belle all from this shop for the cheap as chips price of £200 a bargain in every way. So with that we settled into our new place luckily it wasn’t long before we heard off the removals people and they delivered all our stuff from the states all 80 odd boxes of it! So we spent the next month or so slowly picking through these boxes and desperately finding places to put everything finally after all that we have now thankfully settled into our new home with the help of a few MDF bookcases and the purchase of a decent bed for me and Jen not to mention a couple of trips to the second hand shop for other bits and bobs. Of course the usual electricals had to be brought too and the essential purchase of the broadband and getting it all sorted out to work on my laptop from the states and Jen brought a laptop for herself too so we are all feeling much more at home and a little more relaxed we have been hit by the usual bills etc but we are still coping
Of course when we came to leave dads he was a bit shocked that we intended to leave as I think he thought we would just fall back into the routine of cooking and cleaning his house for him while my brother is getting paid for allegedly looking after him?!! My dad even said you can’t just go and move in there you don’t have a bed etc etc. But we decided a few nights on the floor would be better than getting taken for mugs any longer and expected to pay rent on a house that we aren’t staying in. We have brought dad over here to see the place though and he said he thought it was very nice. I do still feel a little guilty really leaving him in the evil clutches of my brother but I have no choice at all really after all it is a choice my dad has made and I cant get in the way now can I? I don’t think I am over reacting when I say that either as my brother has since got my dad to give up his volunteering job at the local charity shop(the only thing he used to look forward to) and also got him to give up driving too? So my dad is now abandoned in the house on his own just left to sit there watching TV all day long! I even have to ask for permission to go and see dad just incase Ian is going to be there its just horrible so I have no option but to walk away from the situation after all I have enough troubles. My health has got alot worse in fact looking back at it now it is a good job we decided to come back from the states when we did so that I can get some help with my MS it is kicking my butt in a big way at the moment (but more about that in another post maybe)
Enough of this unhappiness and gloom the main thing I wanted to say in this returning blog entry was I have missed everyone on here so much and I am very sorry If I have missed peoples birthdays, important blog entries and other world news I will try to catch up soon with them all in the meantime I will be trying to wheedle my way back into your lives like a annoying build up of belly button fluff. I may not be back up to the previous standard of blog entries for a while but I will be a lot more active that I have since I left the states. Thanks to you all for reading this venting and suicide inducing entry and thanks for all being there always.